Most of the time people have this perception of what life looks like for an overseas missionary. And I can promise you its not all digging trenches, feeding the hungry, and being selfless. Honestly and quite frankly there are days that I question if I'm being and doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
I sip lattes, try to find air condition restaurants, go to the movie theaters, use my iPhone, go shopping way to often, and sometimes don't finish all my food. I'm tired of people not seeing if for what it is. Now in this honesty, I selfishly choose these things when my Thai brothers and sisters around me, sometimes go days without food. While some have had the same pair of pants for years, and I'm looking for my 20th pair. I advocate against child labor while wearing clothes that were probably made by these very children.
Now are any of these things individually the thing that's bad......no. I love coffee, probably on an unhealthy level, but how can I enjoy this or that if my brothers and sisters can't. I mean if we're gonna step across the line people, we need to just step across it. We can't say one thing and do another. It's a contradiction, it's confusing, and a horrible example to others as to what this following Christ looks like. Now this is hard to hear, and we will make every excuse in the book as to how the two can go hand in hand, but I'm telling you right now, they never will aline. If we're gonna call ourselves Christ lovers then we must feed the sheep. And not a misrepresentation of who He was. Now this is a lesson that I will probably continue to learn and struggle with, and the contradiction lies even now as I write this in an air conditioned coffee shop drinking my latte. I'm just kinda tired of being fake. I want to give so much I have nothing left. I wanna love so hard, that there is nothing left of myself. I want to be hungry with my brothers and sisters. I want the lines of class and wealth to disappear, and the only thing uniting us is that we have the same Maker. If it means not wanting things to erase those lines or giving everything till they disappear, I will do it. Sometimes you have to just look at it for what it is. There should be no distinction between people. Some should not live in big white houses, while some live in cardboard boxes. I shouldn't advocate and then turn and put my foot in my mouth by buying and funding it. In my life I want there to be no confusion as to who I belong to. This is something hard to hear for many, but together lets make it undeniable that Christ is our King and that we take His words seriously.
