Mixed Feelings

So here I am....sitting in air condition that is too cold......eating peanut butter that we couldn't find two weeks ago and if we did it was 15 dollars...and I'm down right kinda confused. I'm having mixed emotions, feelings, and desires that are really hard to describe. Why would I want and desire to go back to a place that is so poor? Why have I been given this life when I very well could have been a child in Cambodia struggling to find a meal for the day? I don't understand why I have been given all this. I don't understand what I'm going to do with all this. But that's just it....it has been given to me, and what I do with it, I will be held accountable for. So yes..... it may be easier to go back and live a life that is simple, stress free, and intentional. But I'm here....and happiness will come from finding those things amongst the craziness, shallowness, and insanity that Americans have created. As the days progress of being immersed into my society again...I feel farther away from where I came, so this is my prayer.....that the slowness and simplicity of Asia will find me again. That the contentment and pure happiness that I saw in the slums could find me despite the odds. Everyday is a beautiful gift from our Creator....so give Him glory. As Americans we are some of the most blessed people on this Earth....recognize that.....and live that!