Where to even begin, where has this year gone, and how have I only wrote two post this year? All I can say is that life has been happening, reflection, learning, and new things have all been brought with this year. So I apologize for the lack of post and my absence, however I will say it was nice to be away from it all. It has given me time to think before I speak (or write in this case) and to truly think about what I want to pursue, what God wants of me, and what that actually looks like. So to recap on it all to bring you all up to date....
So back in May we ended up leaving Thailand due to our visas being up, and the fact that we hadn't really seen our families in about two years. So with many tears and this feeling of a sad yet certain divine intervention, we got on that plane home.
How amazing was it to see family, to be around the ones that love you unconditionally. Personally I had missed out on many huge events in my family's lives. My sisters wedding, her whole pregnancy, the birth of her first child. I missed being around my precious grandparents, the love of my aunts and cousins, and my gorgeous Indian momma and strong papa. I absolutely love my family and to be around them was something that I had missed being in Thailand.
Since I've been back it's like my heart though is still left in Thailand. Although I'm around all the ones I love and all the things that feel like home, my home just seems to be some place else. But then I began to think about whether or not it's actually that my home is someplace else or if it's just the type of lifestyle that I feel the most home with. I loved the way of living in Thailand. So simple, so easy. Something that I came to value among anything else. At this point in my life you couldn't tempt me with any amount of luxury or over the top lifestyle, my heart truly lives wholly in a no air condition room, in a hammock, and walking to the market kinda way. So having this knowledge about now what I truly value, made me begin to think. What is this whole living concept all about? How can I wholefully live this life? And more importantly can I give this whole-full living to others?
My past has always been centered around teaching. I mean that's what I got my Bachelors in, that's what I did in Thailand, it's always the thing that has been a constant theme in my life. However I am constantly being brought back to what am I really teaching people? What do I want to teach people? And after living in Thailand and seeing other parts of the world I can say with a shred of confidence that I want to teach people this wholelistic lifestyle.
How to live simply. How to value time instead of possessions. How the body lives wholly when we put food from the earth in it. How the earth can actually heal our bodies, instead of over the counter prescriptions. How to quiet our minds long enough for their Maker to then speak to us.
And to me the next step was to live out what I was thinking. But the constant questions I was having was, How do I learn to heal myself from this stress induced environment I just walked back into? How do I bring healing or this whole living to so many around the world? So I decided to bunker down in the States and get some more formal training. Which is why I am two months into a Massage and natural healing school in Asheville. I am so in love with this decision. I have learned so much so far. I can't even believe where I have come in these past three months. I am learning what heals, what helps people slow down, how you can achieve that whole living. My mind is blown at how everything is piecing together for all those questions I was asking earlier in the year.
To just top it off I'll tell you about this situation that happened when I was working at the coffee shop that I work at before I go to school at nights. Where I was reminded of all the divine qualities that have been in this journey this year. This man stopped me as I was cleaning tables and said he wanted to share something with me. I was really taken off guard, I thought at first he was gonna ask a coffee question, like can I have more sugar or where is the cream? But he looked at me and said I don't normally do this kinda thing, but my God, Jesus, wants you to know something. He said, He wants you to know that you are doing exactly what you need to do. You are exactly where you need to be. Your heart to heal and fight for people that need healing is so right. There will be a time very soon where you will walk into a place and people will think you are a god for the amount of healing you will bring to them.
My mouth dropped completely wide open. My eyes began to fill with tears, this man was sitting here telling me about specific things about what I did in Thailand, and what I want to do. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And the whole time I was thinking, don't cry don't cry, it's your new job, don't cry. But I will say, that man blessed me that day. I will never forget his boldness to speak God's promises.
Since we've been back in the States, life has just been filled with promises. Dreams and the idea of bringing wholeness and healing to people's lives has continued to pour on me. And the funny part about it all, is this quest of finding wholeness to teach to others has brought about this sense of wholeness in myself. I am being wholefuly healed everyday.
I will be in school till February and beyond that I have not the slightest clue as to what's next. But what I do know is that my heart beats so rapidly when I get to live simply, when my time and efforts are surrounded around people instead of items. When I can heal someone with my hands on the table, bringing relief from this caged world we live in. To quiet my mind long enough on my yoga mat so that I can begin to hear my Makers voice. To walk with Him in the mornings and to begin to speak out my dreams of bringing whole living to others in this world who need it. For now that's all I know, and that is enough.
Love you guys so much!! Don't be afraid to fuel the fire, make it burn bright with your passions, and then dance around it beautifully and without shame.
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